Nitro Funny Car Championship Final Round

Santa Pod Raceway September 5th-7th

Words And Pictures By Chris Dossett  On-track photos by Ivan Sansom

The European Finals is the biggest meeting of the year and is often the one where the winners for the season are decided. In our class there were only three entries, ourselves, Gordon Smith in the Shockwave Pontiac and Leif Helander. The season had taken its toll on the cars this year and although we were at the top of the points table we were taking nothing for granted.

So how did it go? Well, it was certainly one to remember!

The weather was warm and cloudy (first mention of the weather!) and the subdued light promised a spectacular sight with header flames aplenty. We had a bye in the first session and were in the right hand lane. All seemed well through the burnout and into stage. John launched hard and things looked good as the Mustang charged hard towards the finish. Then there was one of those horrible instantaneous flashback situations as there was a bang and the burst panel from the front of the body sailed high into the air. It was Easter all over again. The time was a 5.75 but the 190mph terminal speed told the full story. We set off up the service road in the tow car, pausing to collect the burst panel on the way. This was surprisingly undamaged after its maiden flight. On arrival at the car an all to familiar sight greeted us. For starters there was oil outside the engine. This is a bad thing. It should all be inside the engine! The burst plate on the front of the manifold had gone, so had the blower belt. The new timer box had taken a hammering from the belt before it left the vicinity of the car. You may recall the fact that it had only been fitted at the last meeting, and Nigel, our own expert timer box re-shaping operative, was not joining us until Sunday! Closer inspection revealed that the cylinder head gasket had blown in the region of number one cylinder. Fortunately the body had not suffered any great damage.

Back in the pits the strip down began. Now, quite regularly the phrase " the strip down revealed no major problems" appears at this point in the race reports. This was not case this time. On the bright side the oil pan was clean and the crankshaft and bearings were all fine. On the downside, once the heads were off a broken head stud was found next to number one cylinder. Bob set about extracting the remaining part. Two liners had to be replaced, on cylinders one and two, the heads were serviced and the blower was stripped and new teflon seals installed. Once Bob had finished extracting the broken stud the bores were honed out and fresh rods and pistons were fitted and the heads replaced. There was no rush to get the job finished, as we had all evening but it was quite late by the time we decided to turn in, judging by the numerous moths circling the trailer and making regular attempts to weld themselves to our lamps. With the blower still to be re-fitted, we left the scene at midnight.

Back in the pits the blower was refitted and Bob set about setting the valve clearances while we returned from the feast in dribs and drabs. Guess what Bill was doing? That's right, grinding clutch discs. Paul attended to the little damage the body had sustained at the front end and Ken beat the timer box into submission with hammers until it resembled it's original square shape. With the problem of scored liners and damaged pistons at the front of the motor becoming all too common lately Bob turned his thoughts to the amount of oil we were running in the dry sump system and decided that we should increase it. Also we would be changing the oil after the warm-up routine.

So with the warm-up completed, and fresh oil installed, the body was lowered onto the chassis and we were ready for our second qualifying session. The sequence of events then went like this:

1. Tow Down
2. Oil Down
3. Rain Down!

As we reached the bottom of the fire-up road the dulcet tones of Bob, who was at the start line, came over the radio with the news that there was an oil down on the track. This always seems to happen when we are towing the car to the start line. Then, to make matters worse, it began to rain while the clean-up was going on. Will was dispatched to the trailer to fetch the car cover which we then used.........to cover the car of course! The rain soon stopped, the sun came out and everybody was happy again.

This time we were running alongside Leif Helander. Once again all seemed well, the car launched hard and looked to be on a good run. Then BANG as the burst panel sailed high into the air again. Once again the same symptoms presented themselves to us at the top end. Oil (outside not inside), burst plate gone, blower belt gone, nice square timer box........well not gone but not square anymore either. The head gasket had blown out again, this time at the rear, and a new delight met our concerned gazes on this occasion, the inlet manifold was broken!

Back in the pits we found another head stud had broken and a hole was discovered in one of the valve covers where the stud had head-butted it like an evil and destructive jack-in-the-box. On the plus side the motor was still well at the bottom end. Our chief cook and bottle washer Jo was dispatched with the cover to get it welded. Titanium Nigel was still hanging around the trailer and appeared to be looking for something to do so he was presented with the oil pan, a can of gas and a brush. He did a sterling job in cleaning the pan but our used oil is obviously a little more used than the stuff he is familiar with on Dave Hollands Funny Bike. This prompted him to ask "who supplies your oil, Evo Stick?". Meanwhile John, in true Blue Peter style (foreign readers might require an explanation of that bit, please don't e mail me for it!) did a 'here's one I prepared earlier' routine and produced an inlet manifold from one of the cupboards in the trailer. He then began to check all the dimensions to make sure it would fit before preparing it (ok so it wasn't already prepared, but I wanted to use the Blue Peter reference!). While this was going on Bob took position on the Crew Chiefs stool and set about removing the broken stud. However, this stud was broken further down in the block and was not as easy to remove as yesterdays. What followed was a masterclass in perseverance and patience by a man whose determination not to be beaten by a mere inanimate object was a lesson in professionalism to us all. The ultimate outcome of this was of course that the stupid thing was never going to come out in a month of..er...Saturdays. By six o'clock in the evening the decision was made to give up on the stubborn blighter and change motors. Remember that freshly prepared motor that was lurking under the bench? Its time had come! This meant that with two rounds of eliminations to go we now had no spare motor. On the bright side it seemed that the increase in oil capacity had cured the liner problems, but, we were changing the motor anyway. This of course also meant that the gleaming oil pan that Titanium Nigel had so meticulously cleaned would not now be used. I promised him another one after the next run. In the trailer Jim Broomes (Championship co-ordinator) daughter was looking out of the window at the Mustang body. She asked Jim why they paint the lights on when they obviously don't work. A fair question. Jim replied that the idea was to make the body look as much like the production car body that it is based on as possible. She accepted this and then after a brief think replied "so why don't they paint the door handles on?" Got you there didn't she Jim!

All hands turned to changing the motor, an exercise we were now able to complete with our eyes shut and one hand tied behind our backs, whilst asleep. In straightjackets. In the dark. Fresh cylinder heads were fitted, the oil pump (which has two rotors of different sizes) and filter were cleaned and the rebuild ensued. The change in manifolds meant that modifications were required to the blower pulley and fuel lines. The pulleys did not want to line up as the blower now sat further back on the motor. Those of you that are thinking ahead will have guessed from this that the aperture in the body, through which the injector pokes itself, would now have to be widened to accommodate the repositioned blower. Sometimes it seems like nothing is ever easy in this game! So with another late finish, and the prospect of a busy day tomorrow, we lifted the body on and marked out the pieces that would have to be trimmed in the morning. Changing the motor was half the battle, we needed to find the problem too. Thoughts as to the cause of the problem were once again heading in the direction of the plug leads. The motor seemed to be cross-firing, that is to say that a cylinder was firing at the wrong time. The plug leads had been the cause of this problem earlier in the year. This was an important job to tackle in the morning.

We had a bye to the final and to say that the feeling was tense among the crew would be close to the truth. The car launched hard again and looked good but one cylinder was out and John started to drift to the left. He was off the gas and cruised to a 6.53. All seemed well from our end. As we made our way to the shut down area to collect John and a hopefully intact car we held our breaths, crossed our fingers and would have stroked the severed paw of a fluffy bunny, if we had one between us. The news at the top end was good and to make things even better this run had secured the 2003 Championship for us.

Back in the pits we were finally back to something resembling a routine service. No damaged liners, no broken studs, no panel beating tin boxes, the blower belt was still there! Everything went well and needless to say we were ready in good time for the final.

A familiar story here. It was us and the Shockwave team in the final. Leif Helander had damaged his motor so Gordon had a bye to the final as well. Bob chose the right hand lane and, burnouts completed the cars moved towards the line. The crowd were on their feet as John moved into pre-stage and Gordon followed a split second later. The tension increased as both motors were switched on to the high side. John staged, Gordon followed, the lights turned amber, then green, header flames lept high into the air and both cars launched with incredible force. There was nothing in it as they thundered down the strip and then, at about 300ft, it happened again. A bang, a flash of flame and the burst panel sailed high into the air. But this time there was more to come. Air got underneath the body which had lifted at the front. It rose into the air, higher and higher, pivoting around the hinge at the rear of the chassis until it went right over the back in a perfect arc and detached itself as it came down on its roof. The chutes came out and John did a fantastic job in keeping the car straight as the rear of the car bounced off the ground. The body slid across the track and came to rest against the barrier on the opposite side of the track. In the meantime Gordon had continued down the strip but had problems of his own and crossed the line on our side of the track, earning him a disqualification. John coasted over the finish line to take the win. The right result, but it came in a way we could never have imagined.

We set off up the service road, stopped to help lift the stricken body over the barrier and out of the way, and continued on to find John out of the car and as cool as ever as he helped the fire crew. Lee got in the driving seat and we towed back to the pits feeling numb but trying to keep the spirits up. At one point we towed past Martin Hill who was standing by the remains of his Fireforce jet funny car body which had come off the car earlier. He pointed at John and let out a huge laugh. Racers humour! Back in the pits a partial strip down of the motor was carried out before packing up and spirits were higher than you might expect. After all, that's racing! On the bright side I managed to get through the whole meeting without once turning off the computer by accident and losing all the run data. On the downside Jo didn't say anything stupid enough for me to use in this race report. Such is life.

The body was damaged obviously but is repairable. The motors will be rebuilt, the cross-firing problems sorted and you can be certain that the Showtime team will be hard at work over the winter in order to defend their Championship title in 2004. See you at the track!

Check out details of all the action from the Championship on the Nitro Funny Car Championship web page where you can also find the latest points standings. You can also see more reports and photos from this meeting on Eurodragster.com, Dragsterworld, Togs Drag Racing Page,  Sharkmans Top End Tales, Feel The Noise and Bad Boys Imagin